That Doesn't Count
by Myosotis13
Summary: Seiya resorts to facts, sheer logic, and a cherry milkshake to outdo his archrival Mamoru in the competition for Usagi's heart! Of course, Usagi argues fiercely on behalf of her destined prince! Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own "Sailor Moon", or any of its characters. No infringement of any rights is intended.**

**A/N: This idea comes from watching a Seiya/Usagi music video, and from rewatching most of the Stars season…they did make such a cute couple! Definitely more priceless moments that Usagi and Mamoru ever had. Still, this is just a bit of fun, intended as a oneshot! **

**I hope you enjoy it!**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

She sat in the small restaurant, enjoying an extra-large cherry milkshake. Her hands gripped the cold glass. Her eyes focused on the pink droplet at the end of the straw...yet her mind was troubled by something else entirely.

Haruka had dropped a line earlier about Seiya and Mamoru…in fact, Haruka had dropped a whole essay, Usagi remembered, though she could not remember when, or why. The older girl had pointed out, for some reason, how much cuter Seiya was—even in his Fighter tights, or rather, _especially _in those tights.

Which was, of course, ridiculous! Seiya could never compare to Mamo-chan! He was just a falling star who caused a big lot of trouble, while her Mamo-chan had done so much for her.

"Really? What?"

Usagi jumped and looked around. For a second (but _no, it was impossible!_) she thought she'd heard Seiya's voice. But she was all alone in the ice cream shop. Alone with her cherry milkshake. Her delicious, enormous, sweet cherry milkshake. The cherry on top shined bright red and ripe in the sunlight. Usagi grinned happily, and reached for it…

…only to see it snatched away at the last moment by a stranger hand.

Seiya bit into the cherry with malicious satisfaction.

"Give that back!" Usagi shouted, not stopping to wonder where he'd suddenly appeared from, or why they were the only people in the restaurant. Or why the cherry suddenly had the size of an apple, and Seiya calmly took his second bite.

"Well, what did Mamoru do, then?"

Usagi scowled at the dark-haired musician. Very well, she'd set him straight once and for all! And Haruka as well, although the blonde wasn't there and Usagi couldn't really recall what she needed to be set straight about, anyway.

"He's my destined prince!"

"Destined to do _what_, Odango?? Fall for the evil enemy queen every time?"

"Hey! That was that witch Beryl's spell—and it was _once_!"

"What about Black Lady?"

"Th-that was Chibiusa! It doesn't count!"

"Nehellenia?"

"It was a curse, that doesn't—hey, wait just a minute, where did you get all that from? Have you been talking to Haruka again!"

Now Usagi was positively mad at her friend! Come to think of it, though, Haruka and Seiya didn't talk that much. And didn't the blonde hate him—no, that _couldn't_ be right…

Seiya bit into the delicious-looking cherry again, and Usagi watched with envy.

"Don't change the subject, Odango! Let's go back to your—ahem—'destined prince'…"

"Stop calling me that, and I'm not changing the subject! I just happen to think that _my_ relationship with Mamoru is none of _your_ business!"

"All's fair in love and war, my princess…"

"I'm not _your_ _princess_!"

"—yet"

"Argh! I have my Mamo-chan! And I love him!"

"Why?"

He kept a straight, serious face, as if he'd been asking about why the sum of the two sides in a triangle needed to be greater than the third side. Usagi didn't wonder how she knew that, busy as she was thinking up an answer that would definitively set Seiya straight.

"Erm—b-because he's the most handsome man in this world, and he loves me, and he's always there to protect me—"

"Oh really? Funny, I didn't see him in any of our recent battles!"

"That's because he's studying in America, you idiot!"

Why was he being intentionally impossible! And why didn't he share at least _half_ of that cherry!

"So he's not really 'always there', is he?"

"Yes he is! If I really needed him I _know_ he'd be here for me! He's my knight…"

"Really? Where was your knight during your final battle with Metallia?"

"Erm—he was dead, it doesn't count!"

"Right, he'd died trying to kill you…"

"That's not—"

"Where was he during the battle with the Death Busters?"

"Erm—" _Good question, that one! Oh, wait, he was…_ "…taking care of Chibiusa!"

"Ah, home watching the kids, good excuse, that one…" Seiya nodded gravely.

"It's not an excuse!"

"Alright, where was he when Nehellenia took hold of the Golden Crystal?"

"I—"

"Oh, we both know where he was the _second_ time she attacked—that would fall under the earlier discussed category of _"falling for the evil queen"_, I believe…"

"Cut that out! And just _where_ did you get all this information from?!"

"Why, from you, my beautiful Odango!"

He leaned across the table and gave her a long look. Usagi choked on her milkshake.

"M-me??"

"From the way you look at me every time you see me…"

"The way I look at you? I don't look at you in any way!"

"…your eyes silently begging me to save you from your 'destined prince'…"

"Absolutely not true!"

"…because deep in your confused heart—"

"My heart is not confused!"

"—alright, in denial, then—but you _know_ that I am the better man for you!"

"Mamo-chan is the only one for me!"

Seiya raised an eyebrow, and started counting off on his fingers.

"Did he ever sing a song for you?"

"Well, no—but he's not a singer like you, so that hardly counts!"

"Bet he never took a make-up test with you."

"What kind of an argument is _that_?!"

"And when did he ever get you first-class tickets on a night plane ride?"

"Love is not about planes! And need I remind you what happened then?"

He placed a small red cherry on top of her milkshake, appearing lost in thought.

"I remember _I_ risked uncovering my identity to save you—remind me again, what did your 'prince' do when you two were about to be roasted on that elevator?"

"That does not—"

"Count…" Seiya finished in a bored voice. "Hey, good idea, let's _count_ the times he actually did anything other than perch on a streetlamp and deliver ridiculously cheesy speeches…"

"That's not tru—"

"Zero. The number of enemies he actually destroyed?"

"Mamo-chan always fights bravely—"

"Zero. The number of battles he actually helped you win?"

"He stood by me when I fought Fiore, his strength is what helped me through!"

"Uhm, was that _before_ or _after_ you _died_? Yeah, I can definitely see how his presence was beneficial."

"It wasn't his fault the Crystal shattered! He stopped Fiore from killing me!"

"Least he could do, after all it was _his_ jealous boyfriend who started the whole thing—"

"I won't hear _that_ from someone who's a _girl_ half the time!"

"Ouch! Touché, Odango!"

But his grin was not that of a person discomfited or repentant. He looked like a card player who was about to play the ace up his sleeve. Usagi found herself staring at his incredibly cute (_where did _that_ come from?! Mamo-chan is cuter!_) trademark smirk.

"Soooo…are you convinced yet that _I_ am the one worthy of your heart?"

"No! Leave me alone! Mamo-chan will always be my Prince! I'm Serenity, he's Endymion!"

Seiya just stared at her, as if waiting for the argument to continue. He looked genuinely confused.

"Uhm…so?"

Usagi was fuming.

"What do you mean, '_so_'!? We were destined lovers in our past lives, as well—"

"—or you just died before discovering he was a bad job after all…"

"—and in the future Crystal Tokyo—"

"—well it's that future that we're questioning here, Odango…"

"—and he's the father of my child!!!"

He raised his eyebrows mischievously.

"Was that the same child who had a crush on him? Oh yeah, good fathering, that."

"Cut that out! Mamo-chan has always been by my side, offering me his unconditional love—"

"—except maybe when he dumped you because, uhm…because he was giving himself nightmares about your relationship?"

"_That doesn't count!!!!_"

Grabbing her milkshake, Usagi stood up from the table, and promptly fell to the floor with a loud thud. A loud meow echoed in the room, and the blonde felt the all-too-familiar sensation of Luna clawing at her backside. She grabbed the bedframe and sat up, allowing the cat to breathe freely once more.

After recovering, Luna gave Usagi an angry glare.

"Honestly, Usagi-chan! You're sixteen years old! You _don't_ fall off your bed at this age! You _don't_ shout when people are sleeping, and you _don't_ try to suffocate your trusted and wise advisor!"

The blonde blushed, and crept back under the warm blanket. With a graceful leap, Luna landed on her knees.

"Well?"

Usagi shook her head.

"Well, what?"

"_What_ doesn't count?"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**AN: Liked it? Hated it? Let me know what you think! I haven't agreed twenty-times over to those Guidelines for nothing:D! (honestly, they're driving me crazy…)**

**Myosotis **


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